Into the Wild Spoof
Rusty: I want to go into the wild. Bluestar: (Apears.) Rusty: Who are you? Bluestar: I'm Bluestar. Come into my clan at the cost of only 100,000,000 kitty coins! Rusty: Okay! (Gives coins.) Bluestar: This is only 99,999,999 kitty coins. Your one short. Rusty: Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Waks over to Smudge.) Give me a kitty coin. Smudge: Wh- Rusty: (Kills. Looks in pocket. Nothing there.) Darn! Bluestar: You've passed the test! Rusty: What test? Bluestar: You killed an innocent kittypet for money. You truly have the makings of a warrior! Rusty: Yay-wait, I killed Smudge? But he was my best friend. Graypaw: (Apears.) I am your new best friend! Bluestar: Your name will be Firepaw! Rusty: But I like my name! Bluestar: To bad! I hate StarClan! Rusty: What the h***? Graypaw: Bluestar, you haven't gone insane yet. Bluestar: Oh, I see. Goosefeather: I'm insane! Bluestar: (Kills Goosefeather.) Go back to the firey grave that you came from!!! Graypaw and Firepaw:........ Bluestar: Oh, I probably scared you young apprentices. Now, come with me! A few moons later. Firepaw: I am ready to be a warrior. Graypaw: No your not! Your pathetic! Firepaw: Shut up, Graypaw! Sandpaw: I hate you, Firepaw! Dustpaw: Yeah! Firepaw: Why? Why do you two hate me? Sandpaw: I don't know, but I'm sure it's for a good reason. Firepaw: Ooooaaaakkkkaaaayyyyy. Sandpaw: I love you Firepaw! I don't know why, but I feel strangely attracted to you! Dustpaw: Yeah! Everyone but Dustpaw: (Steps away from Dustpaw.) Firepaw: Ew, gross. I'm leaving! (Firepaw and Graypaw run away.) Ravenpaw: Tigerclaw is going to kill me! Firepaw: Why? Ravenpaw: I forgot! Now, get me out of here! Firepaw: Okay! Bluestar: Firepaw, come with me, Graypaw, Ravenpaw, and Tigerclaw to the moonstone. Firepaw: Okay! Ravenpaw: But what about- Tigerclaw: Shut up worthless apprentice! Ravenpaw: Your going to let him speak that way to me, Bluestar? Bluestar: Yep! (Everyone goes to moonstone.) Bluestar: Firepaw, you will come with me to the moonstone. Ravenpaw: Can't I come? Tigerclaw: No, an apprentice so unworthy, foolish, dumb, stupid, horrible, bad, and weak as you can't go. But, a warrior as great, awesome, fantastic, strong, and wise as me can. Bluestar: No, neither of you can come. Tigerstar and Ravenpaw: Why? Firepaw: Because I'm the fire that will save the clan. Let's go Bluestar. (They go in.) Firepaw: OMG! This is...this is....a huge blue rock! It's so cool! Bluestar: Oh, that's not the moonstone. This is. (Points to a tiny gray rock.) Firepaw: That's disapointing. Bluestar: Oh no! Our clan is in trouble! We need to go! Firepaw: How can you tell? Bluestar: Shut up and follow me! (Go out of cave. Sees Yellowfang in a net.) Bluestar: Why did you capture Yellowfang. Graypaw: She was lurking about, and I thought it would be fun to catch her. Yellowfang: Let me out! Graypaw: Shut up! (Everyone heads back to camp. Rats apear.) Ravenpaw: Oh no, rats! There going to kill us all!!!!!!!!!! Firepaw: Um, Ravenpaw, rats are our prey. They can't hurt us. Barley: (Jumps onto a rat.) I will save you! Tigerclaw: We don't need to be saved you fat peice of fresh-kill. Barley: Oh, I see. Ravenpaw: Can I live with you, Barley? Bluestar: Why are you leaving? Not that I really care, but... Ravenpaw: That information is classified because if I said it a certain brown tabby tom with battle-scars who's name rymes with Figerclaw will kill me. Bluestar: I wonder who that is. Tigerclaw: Well, it's better your not here anyway! Your useless! Barley: Wait, don't I get any say in this. I mean he is going to live with me, after all. Everyone but Barley: No! (Ravenpaw and Barley pad off.) Graypaw: That wasn't akward at all. Bluestar: Let's go! (Goes to camp. See it destroyed.) Graypaw: Lionheart is dead! Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Tigerclaw: Yay! I'm deputy now! Whitestorm: No, I'm deputy! Tigerclaw: You'll be deputy when I die, or more likely, when Bluestar dies. Muhahahaha!!!!!!! Bluestar: I still suspect nothing. Firepaw: Who did this, anyway? Darkstripe: It was Yellowfang! Yellowfang: But I was inside Graypaw's net when you were attacked. How is it my falut? Mousefur: Spottedleaf is dead and some kits were stolen. Firepaw: No! Why, StarClan, why? Why Spottedleaf, my one true love?!?!?!?! I will kill Brokenstar for this! Graypaw: How do we know it was ShadowClan? No one told us. Runningwind: Well, it was ShadowClan! Graypaw: Now someone told us. Carry on, Firepaw. Firepaw: Okay. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Firepaw runs to ShadowClan camp followed by Whitestorm and some other ThunderClan cats. Sandpaw: Actually, it was me who killed Spottedleaf. Muhahahaha!!!!!!! (Outside ShadowClan camp.) Firepaw: What's the plan, Whitestorm? Whitestorm: Why me? Firepaw: You always give me plans when I'm leader. Whitestorm: But your not leader yet. Firepaw: Oh yeah. I forgot. It's just Graypaw and Ravenpaw always get me whatever I want, so it makes me think I'm leader. Graypaw, get me soap! Ravenpaw, you get me a sink! Graypaw: Ravenpaw is gone. Firepaw: I miss him aready! Yellowfang: I have a plan! (Cats do plan just like in book. Brokenstar dies and gets banished.) (Back at ThunderClan camp.) Bluestar: Well, you've done well, Firepaw. You too, Graypaw. You'll be named Fireheart and Graystripe. Your going to sit vigil tonight. Graystripe: Okay! Bluestar: NO TALKING!!!!!!!! Category:Spoof